inLUST ; weTRUST

Thursday, April 10, 2008

``_____.*when it all starts falling apart..#

everyone makes mistake...and i mean EVERYONE.

if u think i did everything just to protect myself...well...then i have nothing more to say, cos in your heart you've already have your own conclusion...what ever...

people these days are so weird...

to know how much a person trust you, is not by how much he or she is willing to tell you about him or herself...

to know how much a person lurvv you, is not by how much you're sharing with each other...is how much sorrows you're not sharing...

would you bear to let your love one share you sorrows. watch him/her suffer with you`? NO`! if you love him/her shouldn't you be more wary about his/her feelings`? shouldn't you be wanting him/her to be only happy, instead of sharing you own burdens with you.

NOT ME`!

3:20 AM Z

Thursday, April 03, 2008

``_____.*i've got to pay back my sleeps//.#

*ROARS* so tired, Daryl just went home...lols...last night close shop damn early nohs, 1 close liaos nehs, mai siao siao, after that went to meet Daryl till about in the noon then went home, Daryl accompanied me home, then fell asleep straight away after a bath nohs...lols...

whether i say it or not, i knew them by harrt...i don't have to tell about how nice this was or that were...when i try to put things behind me, why does people keep wanting to remind me of those unhappy thoughts...they simply sprinkle some salt on your wound...and that hurts more than just being hurt.

if it makes you happier by putting me down, then by all means, keep reminding me about it.
thanks`!

because i never want any of my friends to have bad impression on each other.

9:28 PM Z

``_____.*i need you to guide me and teach me..#

why don't you scold me, why don't you give me a damn slashing like i always did when people piss me off`? why must you be so graceful towards all my wrongs? why do you always give in to me even though i'm in the wrong`?

lived for so many years, and the one thing i learnt but forgot was how to express my feelings right.

we get jealous of someone because we want to be just like them.
we get angry with someone because we want them to be just like us.

sometimes when i do not ask a question, it's not because i'm afraid that that person would just lie in my face, but because i'm afraid of the truth.

did god gave me more than i could ever handle`? i just wish he didn't trust me so much.
each time i realise about the mistakes i made, i find it too late to try fixing up the pieces.

4:19 PM Z

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

``_____.*you never took the time to know me.#

I just wanted things to stop, why must people keep going on and on, reminding you about how bad you have been`? even if you forgive and never forget, must you keep reminding`? i want to put those past behind me.

STOP telling me what i've done before`!!

maybe if you have scolded me, i'd feel better`? but then why would you want me to feel better when i made you feel that way you did`? definitely you want me to feel guilty.

things that i never want you to know, you will never.
not even from anybody. it will be only in me, myself and i.

maybe without having to look after me, you'd be happier`?
if you'd be...then hope you'll remember me this way.

5:28 PM Z

``_____.*只能陪你到这里.#

what you thought has all been your wishful thinking,
if i ever wanted to tell a lie on intention, i will never get caught.
but if it's not on intention, i'd simple give myself away from that very moment.
but it seems like, a lie is a lie be it on intention or not.
but then again, things that has been done cannot be undone.

why hold grudges`? isn't it tiring`?
why must everything be known to you`?
can you take them all on your own`?
why do i have to explain myself over and over again to you. when in fact i THOUGHT you believe in me.

she once said she trusted you, but then...she was actually having doubts.
next time, please do not keep saying, words are only words.
the trust comes from the harrt...
words spread around fast, but whether is it true or not, only the beholder know themselves.
there is no need for more than that.

i tried keeping quiet...but she just wanted to know more...
kept asking...i felt so irritated...i just have to jus say something for her.
but she wasn't ready to believe. then why even ask in the first place`?

you leave not wanting to hear more...
do i still have a chance`? NO`!

for everything i do, i have my own reasons that i don't think there is a need to explain to anyone else.
after all, i'm the one doing it.

if i did it on purpose, i'll gladly take what comes out of your mouth, but, it was never on purpose at all`! what you want has never been what i've wanted.

she says she wants me to be happy but there she is getting pissed off with me every now and then, leaving me to have doubts about myself. i let her walk away when all i have to do is say i'm sorry...bt, i simply let my pride get in the way...well, if i'm really at fault then, may retribution befall on me`! if i must be sad to make the world happy, then i'd rather be. if people have to be sad to make me happy, then i'd rather be sad to see them being happy.

i'd rather be hated for who i am, than being love for who i'm not, i just want to be MYSELF. not being manipulated by anyone.

3:59 PM Z